


Broken Heart

by Georgiathewholedaythrough



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Angst, Athos is the voice of reason oddly, I just have a lot of Porthos feels, M/M, Porthos' thoughts, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 06:39:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3600045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Georgiathewholedaythrough/pseuds/Georgiathewholedaythrough
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: "Porthos' thoughts and feelings about Aramis' misguided affairs" </p><p>Comments and feedback would be much appreciated :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gadreel-second-chance](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=gadreel-second-chance).



He knew it was wrong of him to have these thoughts – it was more than wrong, it was plain old dangerous, but he really couldn’t help it. The bitter thoughts slipped into his head every time he’d see Aramis in the mornings, acting so smug over successfully charming his way into a lady’s undergarments. 

It wasn’t even as if he set his sights on lower women, women better suited to his rank, he always chose to go after women that were unattainable. Supposedly. 

Take Adele for example. Porthos remembers how Aramis had come into his chambers; early one morning might he add, to profess his feelings for the Cardinal’s mistress. Porthos knew it was going to end badly from the very time it started, but Aramis was his friend his brother – no, he refused to see Aramis as his brother, it only made his feelings that much worse. Despite his feelings, when Aramis told him that Adele had been murdered, his heart broke. He hated to see his friend in pain. 

It took a few weeks before the Aramis he knew and was fond of was back. But it was bittersweet, Porthos thought. On the one side he loved seeing his friend back in full spirits, laughing and teasing D’artagnan , on the other hand he hated seeing him during the mornings wearing that annoying, smug grin which Porthos knew only meant one thing.

Porthos knew it was different when Aramis met Agnes. He knew that they weren’t intimate but they’d had an emotional connection, which made him extremely hurt and jealous. But he was jealous because when they had saved Agnes’ life and she was leaving, for a split second Porthos thought Aramis might’ve gone with her. He knew Aramis well enough to know a part of him wanted that normal life.

Alice was the one person who, separate from Aramis, he actually came close to loving. She made him smile and laugh and forget. But he knew that it wouldn’t last, she could never settle for the life that he lived, and he could never settle for the life she lived. But he could’ve tried; he might’ve tried, if it weren’t for Aramis. It was strange, Porthos thought, but ever since he had been spending more time with Alice he noticed that something in Aramis had changed too. He’d catch him staring at him sometimes, but then just as he’d open his mouth to question him Aramis would quite quickly steer the conversation on to something else. It was in those silent moments that Porthos allowed himself to hope, that maybe – just maybe, Aramis felt the same way he did.

He was sad to see Alice go. But when he watched her walk away and turned to see Aramis standing there waiting for him, he knew he had made the right choice.  
Out of all the women though, finding out Aramis had slept with the Queen and made her pregnant infuriated him beyond belief. He had told him to set his eyes on someone lower, he hadn’t thought he’d need to explain what the consequences could be; but as always Aramis hadn’t listened. Porthos didn’t know what was worse though, Aramis sleeping with the Queen when Porthos had warned him, or Aramis having kept it a secret from him. From /him/; the one person who’d always had his back, who had always been there for him to talk to. It had made him so mad that Porthos actually thought he would hit him, he had no idea what stopped him though, maybe it was the look in Aramis’ eyes, the look of a man so beaten that all he could do was hug him. 

That evening Porthos got drunker than he had ever been in his life, much to everyone’s discomfort because it was usually Athos who drowned his sorrows in drink. Aramis had tried to talk to him had tried to get him to open up, but he couldn’t talk to him, he wouldn’t talk to him. Porthos was hurting, he was angry, he was drowning inside and he couldn’t speak to Aramis because he knew that if he did he would make the best speech that he’d regret when he was sober. He didn’t miss the look of hurt etched on Aramis’ face as he got up to leave; he wanted to laugh at that, how did Aramis have the audacity to look hurt when it was his heart that was breaking. His heart that was continuously being broken and then stitched back together.

“Don’t you think it’s about time you tell him?” Athos had asked when it was just the two of them left. 

To say Porthos had been surprised that Athos knew was a lie. He was more surprised by the fact that Athos hadn’t come out with it until now.

“Don’t know what you mean” Porthos had grumbled miserably.

“I think you know exactly what I mean, mon ami” Athos retorted back, in that annoyingly confident tone of voice. 

“Nah, it’s better this way” Porthos had replied, whilst beckoning for his jug to be filled up with more wine. 

Athos raised a brow and gave him one of his famous ‘you’re an idiot’ looks. “For who, because by the looks of things you’re not doing too well and neither is he.”

Porthos made a non-committal sound; he hadn’t wanted to have this conversation because he really wasn’t in the right mind set to express himself properly.

“Just leave me alone, Athos please.” He hadn’t meant it to come out as piteously as it had, but he just wanted to be by himself. He wanted to be free to give into his feelings without someone making him feel as if he was wrong to do so. 

Athos let out a defeated sigh and got up to leave, but not before placing a comforting hand on Porthos’ shoulder. 

It almost made Porthos feel bad, but he’d deal with those feelings in the morning. Plus he knew Athos and he knew that this conversation wouldn’t be the last. But right now all he wanted to do was forget. He desperately wanted to forget. 

It did make him laugh though, the fact that Athos of all people was trying to give him love advice. 

// end


End file.
